How it started. And stopped. And started again....

How it started. And stopped. And started again....

About 10 years ago I went to San Diego with my friend Lisa, her boss and her sister Dawn. Her boss was running in the marathon. Later that year I found myself unemployed and doing temp jobs I hated. One of those jobs was working at the Chicago Health and Fitness Expo and the Chicago marathon. I had to get people to wear a stupid tie while they ran and if they crossed the finish line with said tie they would get some fantastic prize. I forgot who I worked for, a hotel chain maybe?

I was inspired by both events. Back then I was under the impression that I could do anything. These days I am a little more of a realist. So sure, I was going to be a runner. I had a goal of running in the Shamrock Shuffle in March. This was the only running event, besides the marathon, that I knew of. I didn't know how to train. I didn't know what it involved. I get excited about things in my head and then never do anything about it. I think I have ADHD... Where was I?

A few years went by and the dream of being a runner got pushed back to the far corners of my mind. I went on that stupid birth control shot and gain a bunch of weight. I decided that I needed to do something big to lose the weight. I dusted off the treadmill and tried to do this running thing again. My plan was to run during commercials on a crappy treadmill in my bedroom. Do you know how long the commercials were during The Apprentice? Too long, that's how. I was getting fatter so I gave up. It's very hard for women to disconnect exercise with weight loss and connect it to health. We give up so easily if we don't see physical results. Too bad we can't hook ourselves up to a machine each night to tell us how good our insides look from working out. Perhaps someday...

This is not a story of my weight problems so I'll not go on about it... I could write a book about that subject.

fast forward to 2011:

Knowing that my coworkers were about to run in the Santa Run 5k the following week I decided to take a spin outside and run on Thanksgiving morning. It was miserable. My jacket was bulky, it was windy as all get out and I huffed and puffed up and down the blocks. That's over.

Rhonda and I went out to watch the Santas run. Everyone dressed in a provided Santa suit. It looked so fun! I got inspired again. I decided that was what I wanted to do the following year despite my miserable experience the week before.

In my office building we have access to a gym. I tried to run again. I had no specific training program. I ran a mile without stopping a few times. Each time I thought I was going to die. My whole body was throbbing; sweat was running off the treadmill and onto the floor (not really).  It seemed too hard. I was still smoking here and there and I hadn't discovered my food sensitivities yet. These factors was making my body hate me for putting it through the misery of running. I gave up  around springtime this year.

I was so unmotivated to do any type of workout. I had outgrown the gym at work. I was done with running. I gained back some of the weight I lost last year.

I think it was around August that I decided to join Planet Fitness. I couldn't pass up the $10 a month deal. Again, I gave the running thing a shot. I think I read somewhere that if you actually sign up for a race it will motivate you to get movin'. Right. Good idea. I really had no clue that there were races going on like every weekend and everywhere all over Chicagoland.

One day I was reading the newsletter from the Chicago History museum. They were advertising for a 5k history tour/run. What a perfect start. It wasn't a real race. You run a bit, stop, and listen to some history about a building and run some more. Sure. I could do that. In the mean time I saw an ad for a race right in my own town. I signed up for that too! I was really on a roll.

The running tour was canceled due to me being the only person who signed up for it.  That's cool. I wasn't really ready. I was running at the gym on the treadmill. I still had no plan. These super fit runner types at work advised me to try the Couch to 5k program. How insulting of a name! I am not a couch potato (sort of)! I refused to try the program because of the name. I was going to do this on my own!

A few weeks before the race I decided I should try to run outside. Things were going well on the treadmill.  Outside was an Epic failure with a capital E. Wah-wah.  What was my deal? I gave in to the couch potato program. It is a nine week deal where you start out running in small increments of 30 seconds at a time and work up to the full 5k.  The best part is it comes in the form of a smart phone app. All I had to do was listen for the lady to tell me when to run and when to stop as I run with my phone strapped to my arm. A few times I actually thanked the digital voice out loud when she told me to stop running.

It was hard but I was doing it. I couldn't believe it. 9, 30 second intervals turned into 6, 90 second intervals and then 200 yards, 400 yards, quarter mile and half mile intervals. Who ever made up this program is a genius.

I was so excited for the race! I got my race packet a few days prior and proudly pinned the bib to the shirt I was going to wear. I strutted myself across town to the starting point near the high school. I stopped before I got there to put on my superman knee high socks, each with a little cape. I stood by the sign that said 5k runners lined up here. I took a picture of the sign and posted it to instagram. I was only a third of the way into the training program but I figured I would try my best and walk most of the way.

So, I'm standing there wondering why people aren't lining up. It was  8:09am . The race was starting at 8:30. I didn't know how these things went. I asked a volunteer if I was in the right spot. "For the 10k?" he replies. "No, for the 5k." I had a bad feeling. "The 5k started at 8." Oh crap! He pointed towards Lake street where we saw the runners floating by.

With my head hung low, I walked towards the runners. I quickly dismantled my race bib from my shirt so no one would peg me as the loser that I was for not being in the race. As I threw the bib in the trash I noticed the one mile mark timer. I walked parallel with the runners and realized I could have and should have jumped in. So what if I was short a mile and I wouldn't get timed? I would get the experience.

You always hear that you have a "choice" to be in a bad mood or not. I never knew what that meant. Who has that kind of control? Who isn't knee-deep in a bad mood with no way out but a good night's sleep? At that point it's too late to pull out of it. I guess you have to hear it for years before you can actually make those decisions before it's too late. Some times  I actually don't care and choose to be pissed. This time I decided to get over it and just go on a regular training run. Everything happens for a reason anyway and the reason for this incident was that I was not ready.

So, in the mean time, training right along, I registered for one race a month through February. I had no idea what it would be like or if I could even run far - what was I thinking? I was force motivating. Sounds like a psychology term. I also decided to run each race in fun knee high socks. I found a bunch on line. I also had to shop for other running related items, like shirts, and pants, running gloves, headband, a new sports bra and an arm band for my phone. Sometimes I wonder if I follow new pursuits just to go shopping. There are running programs for homeless who probably use donated shoes. Oh yeah, I had to get new shoes and fancy new insoles.

I even got a run in while I was on vacation in Dallas. There is a great path near Aty's house with quarter mile markers along the way. Shanelle and Aty walked while I took off and ran ahead. I was doing 1/4 mile run, 1/4 mile walk, 1/2 mile run, 1/4 mile walk and repeat that week. I was pretty proud of myself considering I didnt sleep well the night before.

I have realized that each time I go out there to run it will not be a success. I went out one windy Sunday afternoon, ran for a mile, walked for 1/4 mile and then was supposed to run another straight mile. I couldn't do it. My body and my brain weren't into it. The next time I went out I was so scared that I was going to fail again and my short running career would be over. That didn't happen. I surprise myself more often than I disappoint myself. I'm burning calories, fixing damage from years of smoking, and changing the shape of my body. It's all good.